Something More
by paige-mcc
Summary: The waves crash with the shore creating ripples of water to land on me. My heart is chattered to a million pieces, the laughter close to the fire fades as my poignant heart ache becomes unbearable. He came along and is oblivious to what I feel. I want something mare than this. I want some I can't have. Someone shoot me now. *R&* One-shot


The cool water sent chills down my spine. The waves splashed on the shore of the once blue sea that is now dark and eerie by the night sky. The moon is illuminating the night and casting an enchanting light on the surface of the water. I felt the cold water wrap my feet and I slowly bent down to touch it with my hands. A thick twig flowed my way and I picked it up. I made small circles on the wet sand and stared off to the horizon. My chest heaved up and down, exhaling and inhaling to let all my troubles consume me entirely. My internal turmoil that was once dissolved came rushing back. His face appeared and the unwanted memory enveloped me in a trance.

I must forget about him.

But it's not possible. His enticing eyes always captivate me. It must be the sparkle in them that hypnotizes me or maybe it's his smile. So sweet and genuine. His smell is addicting, intoxicating. His resonant laughter, his gestures, his playful aura. All of him. I want someone that I can't have.

I love him. But he doesn't. He never will.

My hand manually maneuvered the wooden stick in a circular motion. But as time passed, the movement became sloppy and I nonchalantly threw the object towards the sea. It's now lost in the deep depths of the ocean and I long to be the stick. I want to fade away from this poignant reality. I want the heart ache to disappear.

It was at this time a week ago that I had come to the sweet surprise of Eddie and several women in his apartment. I shouldn't have felt like I did because we are nothing. Yet I still did and everything came crashing down. He was sober and aware of the half-naked women in his apartment; he was aware that I had made an appearance but soon left afterwards. Eddie was most definitely aware of how I was on the verge of tears and the guilt on his face made it all worse. I left and he didn't chase after me. What did I expect?

We are nothing after all and he damn well showed it.

My thoughts abated when I heard blaring laughter trail far behind me. I turned around and looked at the small fire coruscate a small portion of the forest. I watched as Ian was whispering his sweet-nothings to Mel and she laughed, complaining how his hot breath tickled her ear. A smile formed on my lips but soon it faded as I felt a sudden wave of jealousy. I shook these faulty feelings away and looked up at the moon. I scrutinized it and found the form of a woman holding her baby in her arms. Sighing, I stood up and took in the fact that the water was no longer reaching my feet. The low tide became present.

I made an attempt to turn around and stroll back to the campfire. But my feet didn't move, I don't want to go back to the campsite. I don't want to go there and face him and his iridescent eyes.

If I go, I will only be reminded of my pain. He's here. Mel invited him to come with us. I was fully against it but she didn't listen. She thought that this would help us clear our problems. She thinks that Eddie feels the same way too. But he doesn't.

At least I think he doesn't.

Yet, he has made countless of attempts to talk to me and I always avoided him. And every time we locked eyes, genuine guilt and pain were evident on his orbs. I dismissed his calls, his messages and hid in my room when he visited me. I locked myself, hoping he would leave. And he did but the next day he would come back, determined than before. I was always resilient to his attempts and waved them off. I led myself to believe that he just wanted to apologize for what I saw and to go back to being friends. And that would've been more painful. I can't be friends with him. Not when I want something more than that.

I came to a final decision. I will go back there, suck it all up, and face him. Then when I do, I will go back to how it was. I will go back to normal. I shook my head and let out an exasperated sigh. I looked at the scenery once again and then turned around.

I stopped in my track, my eyes widened and my hands turned instantly into fists. I swallowed the tears that were bound to come out and looked behind him.

"Loren…" He whispered my name and it sounded so sweet and gentle. He took a step closer. I averted my gaze to him, his cheeks were crimson red and he had a timorous smile on his face. He clutched the different sizes of wooden logs on his arms. His skin was glistening from the water and his hair was everywhere. And he never looked so perfect.

"Eddie." I walked forward and avoided his questioning gaze. I walked past him and after a few steps away I heard the sound of wood crashing against the floor. His footsteps rushed behind me and I walked a little bit faster. But he caught up to me and before I knew it, he grasped my hand and turned me to him. I stared at his white shirt, it was transparent from the water and I saw his chest rippling from lean muscle.

"Why are you running away from me?" He said breathless and conflicted. I didn't dare to look at him.

"I'm not." He chuckled bitterly.

"I'm sorry. I have to go."

I took back my hand but he grabbed it again. This time his hold was stronger and I had no escape as he dragged me away from the light. I thought of possible ways of getting out of this situation. But I found none when Eddie's hold on me was so tight that I felt my hand go numb. There's no use in running.

Eddie came to complete halt and turned around. I took in my surroundings. We were standing at the end of the deck and the moon looked even more beautiful from here.

"Loren about last week. I-I"

"What about last week?"

"When you walked into my apartment and-"

"Found you surrounded by naked women? What about it?"

He sighed. "Nothing happened. I-I had nothing to do with that."

I didn't know what to feel. Relieved?

"Okay…. Why are you explaining yourself?"

"Well- I- Look Loren I just thought that-"

Before he finished I snatched my hand back and shook my head. "I didn't." He nodded his head in disappointment.

"I mean. I didn't feel anything when I saw you with them."

A lie.

"Why should I? You're my friend and nothing more…"

After another lie.

He looked at me and his face showed no emotion but his eyes showed mixed feelings and I couldn't decipher them.

"A friend?"

He smiled bitterly and I noticed the edginess in his voice. He shook his head. "Loren I don't want to be your friend."

That was the last thing I needed to hear for what's left of me to go chattering. "You don't?" I choked and nodded. Well I guess this is how things are. He doesn't want to be my friend either.

"No."

He looked at me and full determination replaced his pain. I faked a smile and began to turn around. My heart was pounding, my head was spinning. And I feel like I am the stick. Drowning in total obscurity. I guess this is worse than having your heart broken, losing your best friend.

I was only able to take one step forward before I felt his firm grip on my waist and he spun me around. I gazed off into his eyes and looked at him in vehement and utterly confusion. He smiled and gently caressed my cheek.

"I don't want to be your friend."

My eyes casted down as he reminded me again. With his forefinger and thumb, he lifted my chin up and I faced him again. He left his hand on my waist and with the other he held my chin. And gently he pulled me closer to him.

"I can't." He breathed out.

"I can't when I want something more."

In an instant our lips connected. The moment was blissful. Sweet. Soft. Yet passionate and want.

So much want.

He parted away from me and looked at me again before brushing his lips on mine again. I cupped his cheeks and his arms wrapped around the small of my back. I inhaled his accentuated scent. He kissed the top of my head and I pulled him to me. Our mouths hovered each other for a moment. His hold on my waist tightened. And soon we connected once again. This time it was ardent and heated.

We held each other, under the moonlight and the moment was perfect.

Him and I.

All I ever needed.

* * *

**First fanfic I have ever written. One-shot request. R&R**


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